A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.

His wife asks, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” says the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”