Hey there. I’ve had an awful weekend, but I’m pretty proud of how I’ve handled it (aside from all the crying)

About two weeks ago, I matched with this guy on tinder. I’ll call him Jake. Jake is funny, witty, sweet, and genuinely everything I was looking for.

We end up talking over text for about a week until deciding to meet up for the first time at his place (stupid, i know).

We talk, drink a few beers, and are genuinely having a good time together.

At some point, I go to the bathroom and see some female products on the counter and in the shower.

When I asked, he tells me it’s some things his ex left, and then proceeds to show me their last conversation to prove that he hasn’t been talking to her.

Then we start to cuddle, and he keeps bringing up having sex. I tell him, like I’ve told him before, that I really want to see some kind of commitment before jumping into sex.

He then tells me that’s it’s not an IF we get together situation, it’s a WHEN we get together situation.

Obviously, my heart soared at hearing this. I’d told him about how in previous relationships I felt used, and that once I have sex with him, I’m afraid he’ll just never talk to me again.

Jake reassures me he would never do that to me, and that he’s never felt so comfortable talking to someone before.

That he’s never had it feel so easy and unforced. I told him I felt the same way. He looks at me and says “I can see us going really far”. Stupidly, I believed him, and we had sex.

The next morning, I notice a pill bottle on the night stand that has a girls name on it, a book, and a couple of socks on the ground.

He tells me it’s his roommates, and that he understand why it looks a little odd. I let him explain himself.

He says his roommate has a boyfriend, and that they know each other from work and she needed a place to stay and he had an extra room, so it just made sense.

I jokingly said “well your mom didn’t raise a cheater! If she did, I would tell her” I once again believed everything he said. We slept together again, then I left.

Come to find out, him and his “roommate” were actually living together. He tells me he technically cheated on her, and he already told her everything.

I reached out to the girl, ended up calling her and telling her everything. Apparently, Jake told her he slept with me but that I didn’t spend the night and meant nothing.

Obviously, this was not the case. Then I remembered that little joke I told him about telling his mother.

And his girlfriend simply loved that idea. I sent a draft of the text to her to double check that she was okay with me sending it, and I said

“Hi (Jake’s mom). You don’t know me, and I’m so sorry to be sending you this message. I haven’t been involved with your son, Jake, for long, but I thought he was everything I was looking for.

I’ll spare the details of our relationship and all that, but it turns out that he was living with someone else that he was romantically involved with, which I didn’t know.

He then proceeded to lie to both me and (gfs name), make us both promises of having futures with him, and I’m sure this is not the man you raised him to be.“

She has not responded to that message, and honestly I wouldn’t either if I was the one with a son like that.

To be fair, I had warned him even though I was joking. Obviously, there are more details within this story but out of respect for his girlfriend and myself, I’ll leave those things out.

All things considered, I’ve most certainly learned to trust my gut from now on. Cheers to stupidity and feeling used.

Edit: had a lot questions as to why I told his mom after such a short time.

Truly it’s because I made that joke, which was lowkey a warning, and his gf gave me permission and we both ended up messaging his mother.

This boy truly wouldn’t give a shit either way, and while it was petty, I was just delivering on an empty threat I had made in passing, which he laughed off and said “nah you wouldn’t do that”.

When he told me about how he lied, he said that he was sorry and that “adult choices have adult consequences”, and they most certainly do.

The mother’s contact info came from Facebook, as he was more than comfortable with sharing almost any aspect of his life with me other than his literal girlfriend.

Also guys, yes I know I’m stupid and gullible, believe me I am well aware.

Ignoring red flags for the possibility of being loved has most certainly blown up in my face, and I have no choice but to take this as a lesson.

And while I wish this situation was rage bait or fake, it’s simply not.

This actually happened to me, this actually happened to his girlfriend, and the whole situation feels fucking awful.