So I was getting high on a rooftop, this French guy who’s in my room but I’ve never really liked his energy, offered to play chess, I said yeah sure but I’m really stoned so I’ll suck

I did indeed suck, there was a group of French people around, my French isn’t perfect but I understood enough to know they were chatting about the game and he was speaking badly about me assuming I didn’t understand

I threw the rest of the game, whilst I tried to put together the sentence I needed in French

I don’t have the greatest range of vocab really, but I can string a sentence together because my father was French foreign legion, I haven’t spoke in 20 years but I was partially raised in French, I have an excellent accent

He turned to me “maybe next time” cocky and smarmy look on his face

“Mai oui, c’est tres amussant, le person de la France pence le person de la anglitaire ne parle francais, Mai je parle”

Please forgive the spelling, it’s been two decades, but roughly I believe

“But yes it’s very funny, the person of France thinks the person of England not speak French, but I speak”

You’d think the fear on his face would have been enough, but when I get back to the room I see his ladder has become detached from our shared bunk

Now it’s electrical taped to the wall underneath the bed completely out of sight due to sliding lockers

First time ever I won’t mind when my upper bunky is making a nightmare of getting in and out of bed

Edit: update!

He checked out! He admitted to an Italian guy in the room he had been talking shit about me and now he must leave

Hopefully he’s learned a valuable lesson about chatting shit about people.