Family relationships can get complicated. And when money or an inheritance is involved, things can get messy. That is particularly true when one family member has kids, and the other does not.
One of our readers shared her experience.
This is Jane’s story.
Dear Bright Side,
My mom passed away recently, and my brother and I inherited $90K each. My brother is childfree and decided to save his money. I have 5 kids and needed the money to care for them, so I spent my share in a matter of months.
When the money was gone, I called my brother and demanded half of his.
I told him what happened and said, “My 5 kids need it more than you ever will.” He hung up on me and hasn’t reached out since. I was furious because I needed to pay school fees, and he didn’t even want to hear me out.
I tried messaging him and pleading for his help, but he just ignored me, and I ended up in a position where I needed to make alternative plans for my kids’ schooling. I was stressed, my kids were upset, and in a moment of tension, I let it slip that their uncle refused to help them.
Then, 2 weeks later, my oldest came into the house holding an envelope addressed to her. When she said, “Uncle set up college funds for all of us.
Why are you mad at him when he loves us so much?” I couldn’t breathe.
Confused, I took the envelope and saw a letter from a banker. It said that my brother had opened education funds for each of my kids and put $15K into each account. The total was $75K, nearly all his inheritance.
The letter also said that the funds would remain locked until the child the fund belongs to goes to college. Then they would be managed by a trustee so “the mother has no access to them at all, for any reason whatsoever.”
My kids were thrilled, but I felt like a failure as a mother and sister.
And things only got worse when my daughter asked why I’d called Uncle selfish when he gave them their futures. I had no answer for her. I had no idea my brother would do this after he went no contact with me.
But he had given them the one thing I could never afford.
He had given them a safe and secure future, while I thought I spent my share on meaningful things that wouldn’t last them a lifetime. Now I’m wondering if he might be right about me.
So Bright Side, am I a selfish mother? Should I have thought about my children’s future instead of their current living situation?
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page.
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