Sometimes even the best intentions can backfire. One of our readers shared a story about trying to teach her daughter responsibility and money management, but things got way out of hand. We are glad she reached out so we can explore what went wrong and what we can all learn from it.
Laura’s message.
Hi, Bright Side!
I’m Laura.
My daughter is 16.
For the past year, I’ve been giving her $250 a month for doing chores (laundry, dishes, cleaning her room, all of it). When she turned 15, I started asking her to pay $100 for “rent and utilities.” I know it sounds strict, but my goal was to teach her budgeting and responsibility (also that nothing in life is free).
She’s been paying me every month, handing me the cash quietly, never complaining. I honestly thought she understood why we were doing this (I even told her it was for her future, but I didn’t go into too many details yet).
But last week, everything fell apart.
Hm… not sure
I don’t think it is actually beneficial
She came home from school.
I asked for her rent (like I always do), and she just threw her backpack on the floor, looked at me, and said, “I’m not paying you anymore. This is my money. I worked for it.”
I tried to explain (again) that this was about responsibility and saving for the future, but she cut me off, “My friends think you’re crazy.
Their parents don’t make them pay rent.” Then she walked to her room, muttered loud enough for me to hear, “Greedy woman,” and slammed the door so hard the whole house shook.
Finally, a parent with a backbone! Most kids these days are so entitled and think money grows on trees. Teaching her the value of a dollar at 16 is the best gift you can give her.
She’ll thank you when she’s actually successful in the real world.
I cried. I felt heartbroken, angry, helpless, and guilty all at once. My own kid thinks I’m stealing from her, that I care more about money than her.
I felt like I failed as a parent.
And the worst part, what she doesn’t know, can’t know yet, is that every single dollar she’s given me has gone into an account under her name for college. Every single dollar.
(I was planning to tell her when the time was right, but now I don’t know if that time will ever feel right.)
Did I handle this wrong? Should I have explained the college savings sooner? How do I rebuild her trust without her feeling betrayed again?
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page.
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