My husband told me that marrying me made his life harder. So I stopped being his wife. My husband Ryan and I had been married for seven years when he said the words that changed everything.
We were arguing about him forgetting our anniversary dinner reservation, and he exploded, saying marrying me had made his life so much harder than when he was single. He said before me he could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and now he had to think about someone else all the time. He said having a wife was like having a second job he never asked for.
He actually listed all the ways I’d made his life difficult. Having to text when he’d be late. Having to consider my opinion on purchases.
Having to attend my work events. Having to spend time with my family. Having to remember dates and birthdays.
He said single guys had it so much easier, and he envied his unmarried friends who had freedom. I asked if he wanted a divorce, and he said no, that was too much hassle. He just wanted me to stop making his life so complicated.
So I decided to stop being his wife. Not legally, just practically. I stopped doing everything a wife would do.
The next morning, I didn’t make his coffee or pack his lunch like I’d done every day for seven years. Ryan asked where his lunch was, and I said making it would complicate his life. I stopped doing his laundry, stopped picking up his dry cleaning, stopped making dinner.
When he complained he had nothing clean to wear, I said washing his clothes would make his life harder since he’d have to be grateful. I stopped planning anything. His mother’s birthday came and went without a card because remembering would have been too much pressure for him.
His boss invited us to dinner and I didn’t respond because coordinating schedules would complicate things. His friends asked why I never came out anymore, and I told them Ryan found having a wife around made everything harder. I stopped being emotional support when he had a terrible day at work and wanted to vent.
I said listening might make him feel obligated to ask about my day too, and that would be complicated. When he was sick, I didn’t bring him medicine or soup because taking care of him might make him feel like he owed me care in return. I stopped handling household management.
Bills went unpaid because I didn’t want to burden him with financial discussions. The refrigerator stayed empty because grocery planning together would be too complex. The house got dirty because discussing chore division would make his life harder.
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